3a.m. post Thanksgiving Day

So many things to be thankful for.   I try to "celebrate" Thanksgiving year round...minus the food.  I mean, if I ate like that all year I'd be as big as a house or a small apartment.

This year has been filled with so much emotion, information, education, and ups and downs.  I'm thankful to have gone through it.

I'm thankful for:

My children.  Their health and happiness.  Even when they are cranky and irritated with me, I still know they love me.

I'm thankful for the fact they feel safe enough with me to let me know they're cranky and irritated with me.

I'm thankful for Tommy because he makes me "see" things in a different perspective than what I would on my own.

I'm thankful for my parents.  They are okay (and sometimes even excited) with me and the kids showing up at 2a.m. because I haven't slept in three days and Faith isn't about to let me and they are more than happy to let her hang out with them while I get some sleep.

I'm thankful that they hang out with the kids, talk to us, and just are the kind of parents that parents should be.

I'm thankful for my sisters.  All of them.  Jennie because she's my best friend as well as sister.  She's someone I confide in, hang out with, go shopping with, out to eat with, discuss important life events with but also talk about silly things like why we do or do not fix our hair, wear make up, or like certain television shows.

Erin because she's been great with the kids and helps me (when her leg isn't broken) to get Faith to let go of her squeezing the crap outta my neck in the mornings when I have to take the kids to Mom and Dad's.  She's had to help me pry her off of my neck many, many mornings.  It gets harder and harder all the time, but has nothing to do with anyone other than myself.

Jennifer because she's always more than willing to play with Angelus and he enjoys playing with her so much and also helping out with Faith.

I'm thankful for my job and for a boss who said; "Whatever you need to do for Faith to help her do it, and we will work around it." AND she meant it.  It's been several months of crazy appointments and learning to navigate different things, and she and my co-workers have been there to help assist in whatever way they can...from covering a shift, to rearranging a schedule for me to be able to be with her at her therapy's.  They have all been incredibly supportive as well.

I am thankful for Buddy as he teaches me more than he could possibly ever know in ways I'm sure he isn't even aware of.

I'm thankful for uncle Scott 'cause really every one in life needs an uncle like him.

I'm thankful for friends we have who take time to come out to visit us even when it's over an hour away (for most of them).  OR when grocery shopping is involved and baking sweets is involved. 
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I'm thankful for the Autism Support group and how it's introduced me and my family into another world of learning, support and encouragement of these fantastic people who just want to help.

I'm thankful for all the encouragement I get from long lost friends that I have discovered and re-discovered on facebook.   It's really been a great thing.  They are encouraging, funny, witty, insightful and help through a day more than they realize on some days.

So many, many things I am thankful for and people I am thankful for.  Hope the rest of this Holiday season is great and I can continue to remember all the things there are to be thankful for...even when the "going gets rough".

Happy Thanksgiving!  Good luck on Black Friday/ Cyber Monday.  Be safe. Have fun.

She is with me.

Faith did good with the communication device and we were able to capture it on video.  The O.T. is starting the process to get it all funded.  She will have to have the Speech therapist sign off on it before she submits it.  'Cause usually Speech Path's are the ones who do this kind of recommendation, but she's been with Faith more and sees more of her personality, interests, and strengths.

Faith kept pushing the "play" button.  I didn't think a lot of it at the time.  I was just glad she was showing interest, as she was acting an awful lot like she was just gonna hop down on the floor there and fall asleep.  Anyway, thinking about it later....I always ask her when we get there and I'm taking her out of her car seat if she's "Ready to go play?" or if she's "Going to go play on the swing"?  Maybe I'm reading too much into it (but they have good receptive skills, it's the response ones that are hard to read), but I'm thinking she linked the two together.  :)

She also pushed the buttons to [GO] and [SWING], so she hopped up there and got on the swing and just giggled.  I do think this will be a very good thing and after seeing her interact with the device I'm now even more convinced.

A little 'gelus

Tommy and I were married for about 3 1/2 months when I found out I was pregnant with Angelus.  I was 6weeks along and it was during my Spring Break from college, when we figured it out.  I continued to go to school during the pregnancy, which some people think must be hard.  I imagine it would be if you didn't have a good support network.  I felt good pretty much all the time, had all of my family to help so all that was really different was I got fatter and had to pee more often during the school day (sadly, this has never let up).

November 21, 2003, Angelus Linn Brownell made his way into the world.  I was so glad to have him here.  The next few years were filled with wonderment, watching him learn to crawl, sit-up, stand up, walk, talk and show his personality.  Tommy doesn't like to go very much, but Angelus did.  So, for the first 3years of his life we were traveling buddies.  We would just go check out places together for no other reason than we liked to get out a little (but not a ton).

On Angelus' 3rd birthday I went to see the doctor and he went with me, we found out at that time he was gonna be a big brother.  He was SOO excited (he routinely asks me if he can have more siblings).  Faith was born about 7 1/2 months later.  He was (and still is) such a proud big brother.  I took the two of them grocery shopping with me, out to eat with me...well, pretty much anywhere I went.  Angelus took every opportunity to tell anyone that would listen to him..."Hey!  That's my baby sister, Faith! and I'm 'Gelus!"  Which almost always led them to saying; "I'm sure your Mommy and Daddy love you too." And that left him so confused (as that boy doesn't seem to have a jealous bone in his body), I would inevitably have to explain to them that's his name.

Angelus starts Pre-K and makes some friends and has fun playing with the other kids, but learns quickly that he hates to color.  Everything else in Pre-K is okay.  He likes his teacher, the helpers, playing in the sand box, running around playing and making friends with all the kids.  Then he moves up to Kindergarten where he looses his first tooth and begins to learn more about other kids not having the same kind of home life as him (as everyone's is different), so some things he would get in trouble for is okay for other kids and some things he wouldn't get in trouble for other kids do.  He had to (and is still working on) figuring this one out.

Around the end of his kindergarten year and on into the Summer we started really trying to figure out what was going on with Faith.  He'd noticed and commented several times about kids littler than her talking to him more and wondered why she didn't really talk to anyone.  He also voiced concern and "disappointment"--not sure if that's the word I want to use there--about her not ever wanting to play with him because he tried (and still does try) to get her to play with him all the time.  He is the ever protective big brother and usually doesn't even want to go to most places unless she can go with him.  He also knows that trying to get her to play with him and talk to him is even more important so he still tries and he talks to her all the time too.  He gets SO excited when she wants to sit up beside him, comes over by him and gives him a little hug, or he hears her say or try to say something.  He understands some of the "noises" better than what anyone else does and can tell others what they mean or repeat them for clarity, if the need arises (and it has before).

Now in 1st grade he has been recognized for how incredibly bright he is (and he is), but I'm way more proud of the person he is.  He has a great big heart with care and concern for others around him.  He is energized and loves a good light saber fight like a lot of other little boys, but he is usually quick to notice if someone needs extra words of encouragement, a second or even a third hug to help them feel better, or some additional playing time.  I've seen him do this with adults, kids, and kids even littler than him.

He's lost two more teeth (one on the top just this past week), grew taller, ate more (although he is a pretty picky eater), read more, learn more, ask more questions.  Not be afraid to ask more questions.  Do a public speaking event.  Be confident enough in himself to want to grow up to be a "Jedi!" even though everyone around him wanted to be doctors, lawyers, teachers, dentists, and he knows Jedi's aren't exactly real, but he likes the idea of them and what they do.  They're the good guys who try to beat the bad guys and make things right.

Happy 7th Birthday!  I am so lucky to have you and so glad you're my son.

7 years ago I knew my life was more blessed than I would ever be able to put into words and as I have watched him grow and become who he is my life is blessed even more with each passing day.  The world needs a lot more people like Angelus.  I'm so glad he's my "baby boy".

The Things We do.....:)

We've had a pretty good week around here.  This past weekend we went and took some family photos where everyone did good (Yes. Even Tommy).  I just hope a couple of shots were got of Faith looking at the camera.  She has the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen.  So, really she should show them off. ;-)  Angelus did really good and had a great attitude too.  He even said after it was all over "Thanks Mom!  You planned a fun day for us."  Upon getting home from that, though, little miss Faith had definitely been over stimulated and was having a rough time, but that's alright.  All in all turned out to be a fun time with the family.

This is what the device is going to look like.

I'm very impressed with the Occupational Therapist (OT).  I know. I say that ALL the time, but she's good.  Anyway this coming Monday she is going to have the people there at her office with the Communication Devices and a video camera set up to video Faith.  Faith has to at least show there's an interest in it and we have to catch it on video, then mail it into the insurance company for them to cover it.  It's about a $10,000.00 device. It's very durable, small and has a carrying handle.  So, let's just pray that she shows interest Monday morning and we're able to capture it on video.  'Cause I think it will benefit her in ways I can only dream of right now and $10,000.00 isn't the easiest amount of money for us to come up with given Tommy and my salary's.

Angelus led his school in the 'Pledge of Allegiance' in which he did absolutely fantastic!  He had no stage fright.  When I asked him if he was nervous talking in front of all of those people he said; "What people?" Me:  All the people at the Assembly?  Angelus:  Why would I be nervous about that?....Maybe public speaking is his calling.  Seriously, he talks more than anyone else I know.  AND, I think it's pretty cool that he does.  He will also be turning 7 Sunday.  WOW!  Time sure does fly.  He has been amazing to watch and grow over these past 7 years. Don't know why God decided to bless me so much with these little ones, but I sure am glad he has.

Two Cents...

Seems like everyone has to weigh in with their "two cents worth" on your (my) child and them having/not having Autism or being Autistic...however you look at it.  Like, maybe she's not really Autistic and I'm making it bigger than what it should be although those who know me well know I don't tend to make a "big" thing out of almost anything.  There's generally a reason for me to have concern if it is there.  Whether it's misguided concern or just not really wanting to take time to really "see" there is more going on. They all have their "two cents worth" that I generally appreciate hearing, just some days it becomes a little "taxing".

Faith's Autism is actually fairly severe and I think if you have met her, you just know ( We had a couple of friends that once we told them we were having her "screened/tested" for it, they commented that they had thought she was Autistic, but felt it wasn't really their place to say so they didn't).   It affects her Speech severely and her Social skills.  My Dad asked me yesterday if Faith played with other kids since she will be a Pre-K bound person next year, but she does not.  Kids and adults can be around her, she will not play with them.  I have never seen her play with another kid and only very few adults.  That being said, she doesn't have the behavioral "issues" that sometimes come along with Autism.  Our house and my parents house is very laid back, calm and quiet...we have no idea if she may have some kind of behavioral issues come up when she is in a classroom that's busier and louder than where she is generally at, but life in general is louder than my house so we will have to see what happens and if we need to work with her and what might need to be done to help her navigate through life.

The therapists have stated Faith is a perfect candidate for, and recommended that we get a Communication Device for her.  Next week the O.T. is going to bring me a list of all of the different devices and we will go over the pro's and con's of each and she will tell me which one she thinks will be the best for her.  We will then have to do a video of her and the OT will have to write a letter and the insurance will cover the Communication Device for her.

I asked the OT lots of questions, I usually do but I was asking very basics of things like dentists, hair cuts, would she need a one-on-one aid?  She will most likely have to go to Tulsa to see the dentist, at the hospital as she will need to be sedated.  We're hoping for an Aid in the classroom that knows she will need to give Faith a little extra attention instead of a one-on-one aid.  It seems to be the best, but she will probably need an aid of some sort.
It's interesting the differences of what thought goes into each kid I have for what needs to be done.

The "Gifted & Talented" kids are doing something for Veteran's Day and Angelus and the other little girl in 1st grade that is in the program are going to do (lead) the Pledge of Allegiance in front of the whole school at their special Veteran's Day Assembly.   He is also really wanting his front teeth gone.  Guess that's what makes you "cool" when you're in the 1st grade OR maybe that quarter from the tooth fairy is that important to him.  He's well on his way to have on of those front teeth out, probably by the end of this week.  Very excited for him and very excited for Faith to be on her way to communicate with us as she continues on in Speech and Occupational Therapy.

Things that make you go.....yea!

Last week Speech and Occupational Therapy wasn't very good.  Faith was getting sick and was incredibly "whiny" about everything, so no good positive updates, but I knew there would be soon so I waited 'til today.

We also made a cool pumpkin basket this past week for the Autism Support Group pie Auction.  Jennie has a lot of great ideas while Faith gave it her "nod" of approval and promptly tried to sit in it.  

Faith didn't sleep at all last night, but I could tell she wasn't going to.  Anyway, this morning she still was alert and in a good humor, so I thought I'd take my chances.  I asked her if I could put a hair barrette in her hair, she shook her head "yes", and let me.  This is the first time she has ever let me put anything in her hair and let it stay.  She has also been nodding "yes" or "no" a lot more often to requests and questions.  She's needed something to pull her hair outta her eyes (where she likes it way too much) for at least a year or so.  I also bought her some little black slip on "dressy" shoes that she was able to put on herself this morning.

Still alert and awake at Speech.  She gave Mr.Jackson (Speech Therapist) her attention once when he said her name.  She also told him "yes" or "no" by shaking her head, to a couple of things (not everything, but it's a good start).  Then we began working in a book called 'A Day at the Zoo' it's a Wiig Assessment of Basic Concepts.  Faith turned the pages like she was asked.  She got fascinated with the page that had a circle, triangle, and a square and kept staring at it and flipping back to that page.  Mr. Jackson kept on saying triangle, circle, square then we heard what just sounded kinda like noises at first but upon listening closer she was pointing at the shapes and calling them their names. 

I don't think she will ever speak very clearly, but just hearing her try to say words is new and I'm trying to learn what they are.  I imagine sometimes when others think she's just making "grunting" or "singsong" noises she will be saying something, and I'll soon know what it is.

Occupational Therapy and she was spent.  She fell asleep while she was doing music therapy and swinging in her swing.  BUT when the session was up and it was time to take the headphones off, she was MAD.  She tried to put them back on her ears.  I'm so glad she likes the music (but I was certain she was going to).

The kids did trunk or treat at our local fire department, then we went to a chili supper across the street from trunk or treat and they had a good time.  Of course we had to go by and show off the little ones to Poppa and score more candy from their house.

'til next week or sooner, depends on how "bloggy" I feel and if cool stuff happens.