On the Edge...

I've been about 100x more "jumpy" than usual the past couple of weeks.  Not really a fan of it at all.  I started really thinking about it....

I've lived through tornado's, flooding, flash floods, ice storms, house fires, being held at gun-point.....tornado's, none that directly impacted me, but I've heard them (at least twice now) and I know what they sound like.  It's weird because now whenever I hear anything close to that sound I get a tad more "on edge".  One took out my parents business, some chicken houses next to us and our landlord's house...my parents dairy and the chicken houses are within our line of sight.  Nothing happened here. 

Flooding, water didn't come up into my house, but we were stuck in it for a couple of weeks.  Our house was on the middle of a hill so water just rolled down to the bottom.

Flash-flooding, happens around here ALL the time, but here is the reason I won't drive into the water anymore.  Usually you're able to just pass on through it, but sometimes....you can't.  A few years ago I was coming home from work, there was a flash flood, as I was approaching where I needed to turn off I saw a lady standing there who was about 8 to 10years younger than me.  She had a look of "bewilderment" on her face.  She had attempted to just drive through the water and figured out it wasn't going to work so she got herself and her 2yr old daughter out of the car when the current swept up her baby.  The baby didn't make it.  So, standing water...I don't try it.

Ice-storm:  All that really happened to us was we didn't have any electricity for a couple of weeks and weren't able to take a good bath. Our house is heated with propane and we had a propane stove at the time so we were able to keep warm and eat.  Angelus and I spent many of those days visiting with each other and trying to figure out what to do with ourselves (Faith was in my tummy then).  I guess what we had earlier this year was considered a blizzard.  Nothing much happened then either except we weren't able to leave the house, we were stuck.  Our cars were stuck, our gate was stuck, we weren't going anywhere.

Had a house fire happen when I was a teenager.  We were in the house when it started, but our Mom got us out of there and we went to the neighbors house where we called our Dad (who worked 3rd shift at the time).  We lost pretty much everything we had there.  It was in that moment that "things" "stuff" just wasn't important anymore.  You can't take it with you when you go, so I'm not a very sentimental person.  Around the age of 30ish I would leave the house and wonder if I had turned stuff off or unplugged something to the point I'd turn around and come back home to check.  Whenever I'm done with a can opener, toaster, coffee pot, pretty much any small appliance I try to make sure it's unplugged.  Then I realized it was (probably) because I was getting very close to the age my mom was when our house burned up.

Been approached in a very inappropriate way by someone "slightly" higher up in the military and the person that should have "protect" me either 1.) didn't believe me or 2.) they stated the guy was drunk and let that be a good enough reason not to take my concerns to heart....which is probably why I don't exactly look for "protection"  from almost anyone (aside from my dad, 'cause he has always been there to protect me and believe me when he was able).

Being held at gun point (thanks to Jennie's crazy ex-boyfriend)....okay, the ex-boyfriend didn't do it, it was his uncle or cousin or something like that.  I went to go pick Jennie up from visiting with the guy when it happened.  The guy had been drinking WAY too much and thought I was someone I wasn't.  Jennie's "crazy ex" did come out and tell the guy that I was just there to get my sister.  Still, it shook me up a bit.

I've had someone break into my house (apartment) when I lived by myself and all they stole was my window--which I thought was weird.  Then they drew a picture on the top part of the window they had left there that was WAY inappropriate and walked through my bedroom as I saw some fairly big shoe prints across the sheets of my bed. I wasn't home at the time.  The more I thought about it, the more it freaked me out because they didn't steal anything.  Geez, I could only imagine if I were home.

I've had kids try to convince me that they were the Antichrist, heard horror stories of kidnapping, being held captive in a home for days while some people and/or children were made to watch some of the most horrific things that my mind couldn't ever wrap its head around (nor would I want to) little kids being prostituted out by their parents (usually their father's), coming to the realization that if a kid is truly a runaway...there's a reason they're running. Horrific tales of abuse, essentially torture, and rape...that doesn't really even touch all the stores I've heard in the past several years.

I work about 20min. away from Joplin. Live 30minutes away from west Siloam where another tornado touched down on the same day and 30 min or so from the small community of Zena where yet another tornado also touched down.  While neither towns devastation was as great as Joplin's still, there was devastation to their community's. Miami had a ton of flash-flooding the next day and continued to have flooding there and in Seneca the next couple of days.  So much so that roads were blocked off for me to be able to make it in to work.  All of this happened on the tail end of some pretty intense weeks at work that were filled with me "feeling" others stores a little more so than what I usually am able to keep myself from (which is why I'm generally able to work in this field).  Then at the tail end of that Angelus thought someone was breaking into our house so I had my dad come and check out the house.  We didn't find anythig, but better safe than anything else...right?

My life has been fairly uneventful, but putting all of this together....I'm just guessing that the combination of all things put together has heightened my anxiety.  Which TOTALLY sucks.  I don't like the feeling of being anxious.  Maybe it's only a temporary thing, though.

My heart hurts for everyone and what they are going through right now.  You are ALL in my prayers.  Really, I pray for facebook friends constantly, every single lady I meet through work, I say a prayer for her and the kids I meet. Things don't always work out the way we want them to, but I pray that there is hope and some sense of  peace in how they all come together.

The Effort is Not All in Vain

The Effort is not all in Vain 

by Amy Passmore-Brownell on Saturday, April 30, 2011 at 10:35pm

To those who went on this journey before me:

     I went to an awesome lecture/book signing this past Thursday (April 28, 2011) with Dr. Andrew Wakefield, Rupert Isaacson, and Kristen Neff.  I heard such great information, great stories and sad stories.  I'm always amazed by how many stories I hear of those around me having had such a hard time getting the services and help they need for their children.  How the "professionals" they've come up against told them "your child is Autistic, they will never live independent lives, never be able to speak, never go to college, never get married, or even have a job."
I have had a super easy time (once someone did listen to me, all it took for me was that FIRST person to listen), to get everything in place Faith needs and the family needs to help her (and themselves too, really).  No one has ever said "she will never do this-or-that".  Her Speech Path has said she makes a lot of different noises and I really think she will speak one day, we just don't know when that is. The OT has said, one really never knows what the child is capable of and you shouldn't limit them to whatever so-and-so-professional says.  The school goes above and beyond to work with us and do various things to try and make her more comfortable with the school.  So much so, that she walks into the classrooms after speech (ALL of 'em) and the teachers just say "hey Faith!" then she generally walks out of them (sometimes a lot), but they all do this to try and help her transition of beginning school be "less" traumatizing on her next year.
     So, I just gotta say a BIG "Thank you" to those parents who went on this journey before me and worked endlessly, tirelessly and selflessly to have their voices heard because I KNOW that you are the reason my journey has been so much easier to get what my child needs to help her have the most productive life she can possibly have and why I have run into professionals with hope for her and her future. Without the tireless work you have put in, this wouldn't be someone's reality.  I'm so sorry it hasn't been more people's and wasn't yours, but it IS helping and making the way easier for our children who so desperately need help, understanding, and kindness.

If you ran your own country...what would you do different?

Angelus was sent home with a project this week.  He was to pretend like he ran his own country and have "Laws"/Rules and Consequences.  This is what he came up with.




























LAWS/RULES
-- Don't Kill
--Wake up your parents to go to school
--First eat healthy, then sweets

--Don't shoot
--No inappropriate hitting
--Don't say bad words on the internet
--Don't say bad words
--No bullying
--Wear seat belt, even in the front and back

--If you shoot some one, you go to jail for the rest of your life.
--If you kill some one, go to jail then--hard rubbing (he demonstrated this and it did really hurt)
--If you don't wake up your parents to go to school then you only get to play with your toys.
--If you only eat sweets your teeth will rot.
--If bullying, hitting, name calling in person or on the internet, we will ask them to leave the city or country--so the little kids won't get hurt.
--If they don't have their seat belt on, you will be asked to stop and some one will put it on for you.