Where My Heart Is

Encouraging marriage, lifting up our spouses, and learning more of how to become "one".  This is on my heart a lot lately.  I know I've got a couple of friends on Facebook that do such a fantastic job of showing encouragement to others.  I appreciate that such a great deal.  I also get that it's a "cyber world" and we can choose to let others see the sides of them we want to let them into.

I was married, very briefly, before Tommy. My first husband and I did a fantastic job of forgetting to act like we actually wanted to be married to each other and screwed up in some pretty massive ways (okay, I did.  I can own my part and since I am not him I can not speak for him).  While I'm not totally against divorce (there are some incredibly good, valid reasons to get the heck away from each other). It is something I wouldn't wish on anyone.  Strange and silly as it may sound, no one ever talked with me about all of the guilt that would surround you for years to come once you went through a divorce.  I think that should be stuck in the pre-marital counseling somewhere, just so people are aware. Life did get better for me (probably for him  too, as I said we did a fantastic job of forgetting to act like we actually wanted to be married).  He's a good person, I try to be a good person. I've  no doubt he's a fantastic father to his children and I also try to be a good momma to my children.  Some days I'm more successful than other days.  No matter what, though, my children know I love them and I'm proud of who they are and who they are becoming (even on my cranky days).  I always want to remember the first marriage, not because I want to live in the past but because I NEED to always remember not to take my spouse for granted and to let him know how thankful I am that we are where we are.  We learn so much from our past experiences.  It's good to take that with us, remembering to repeat the positives and not repeat the negatives.  I want us (Tommy and I) to do a fantastic job of remembering that we wanted to spend our days with each other and treat each other as such.

I try to be honest and real...in life and in the digital world, and fall short in both regards more often than I want.
Sometimes I don't post things because I don't know how many know not to take me too seriously often.  Or that even though I don't tend to curse, I'm not generally offended by it.  I mean, Tommy swallowed a toilet, according to our friend Callie (granted, she said this back in high school about him)....and my sister uses the "F-bomb" for any and everything. It's one of her "things", I guess.  I don't like to put out there my insecurities of getting to be the mother to these two amazing children.  I also scale it WAY back on what we actually go through with our littlest one.  I don't know where this paragraph was going.  Maybe I should stick it in another blog post when it comes to me.  For now, I'll just leave it here.  It is my blog and it can be as random as I am, right?  ;)